"Do you think humans were designed to live in the present or the past or the future?" p. 141
Of course we were designed to live in the present, yet we spend most of our time somewhere else. I feel this way often, living in the past or focusing on what the future may hold, trying to anticipate so I can react appropriately. But Christ does not live in the future, He lives in the present. He is in the here and now! I try to justify what I do by telling myself I am trying to "be prepared." I don't think I am being fearful, but perhaps I just don't see it.
"The person who lives by their fears will not find freedom in my love...To the degree that those fears have a place in your life, you neither believe I am good nor know deep in our heart that I love you. You sing about it; you talk about it, but you don't know it." p. 142
I want to know the love of Christ in that way, to truly believe so I will not fear, what freedom that would be. I know that kind of trust, knowledge, belief only comes by spending time with Him, lots of time. A conviction for me to spend more time with Him. I make excuses, justify why I don't, but really there are no acceptable excuses or any justification that makes it ok that I do not make time for Him daily. It should be the first thing on my mind when wake up and the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep. Then I would truly experience freedom. And that freedom would overflow into all my other relationships!
"To force my will on you," Jesus replied, "is exactly what love does not do. Genuine relationships are marked by submission even when your choices are not helpful or healthy....Submission is not about authority and it is not obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect. In fact, we are submitted to you in the same way." p. 145
Sometimes I do think forcing His will upon us would be kinder. It would help me to not make so many stupid mistakes. It would make my life easier, I think. Then I think about others that I love who have made poor choices that cause me pain, that cause me to greive for them, for their soul. I makes me think about my own children who will make bad decisions in their life, if I could just choose for them or if God would intervene and help them to always choose His will. But I do want "genuine" relationships, which means I must be submissive, I must love and respect. I am struggling to learn how to accomplish this! I hope I am able to master this before my own kids get much bigger! I think my definition of submission has been skewed for a long time. I have thought of it as power and obedience, not as love and respect.
"Because we want you to join us in our circle of relationship. I don't want slaves to my will; I want brothers and sisters who will share life with me."
"And that is how you want us to love each other, I suppose? I mean between husbands and wives, parents and children. I guess in any relationship?"
"Exactly! When I am your life, submission is the most natural expression of my character and nature, and it will be the most natural expression of your new nature within relationships." p. 146
In all my relationships I want submission to be the most natural expression of my nature. I am going to try to recondition my mind to a new definition of submission. I want to join that circle!
"The world is broken because in Eden you abandoned relationship with us to assert your own independence. Most men have expressed it by turning to work of their hands and the sweat of their brow to find their identity, value, and security. Or by choosing to declare what's good and evil, you seek to determine your own destiny. It was this turning that has caused so much pain." p.146-147
"The woman's desire - and the word is actually her 'turning.' So the woman's turning was not the works of her hands but to the man, and his response was to rule 'over' her, to take power over her, to become the ruler. Before the choosing, she found her identity, her security, and ehr understaning of good and evil only in me, as did man." p.147
"No wonder I feel like a failure with Nan. I can't seem to be that for her." p.147
"You weren't made to be. And in trying you'll only be playing God." p.147
"Is there any way out of this?" p.147
"It is so simple, but never easy for you. By re-turning. By turning back to me. By giving up your ways of power and manipulation and just come back to me." Jesus sounded like he was pleading. "Women in general, will find it difficult to turn from a man and stop demanding that he meets their needs, provides security, and protects their identity, and return to me. Men, in general, find it very hard to turn from the works of their hands, their own quests for power and security and significance, and return to me." p.147
"Women," Jesus continued..."turned from us to another relationship, while men turned to themselves and the ground." p.147
"..filling roles is the opposite of relationship...We want male and female to be counterparts, face-to-face equals, each unique and different, distinctive in gender but complementary, an each empowered uniquely by [the Holy Spirit] from whom all true power and authority originates...As you grow in relationship with me, what you do will simply reflect who you really are." p. 148
How true this is, I am guilty of trying to find my identity, value and security in my relationship with my husband. This is unfair to him, he was not made to be this for me. My identity, value and security is to be found in Christ and Christ alone. I know this and have for a long time, yet I find it difficult to re-turn my focus on Christ. I want to do better. Brad is my help-mate, I am grateful that God has blessed me with him. But I need to find my value and worth in my relationship with Christ. What a burden that would lift from Brad. That would enable our relationship to be better! Wonderful! Great! What great gift to us and to our children.
"...just like love, submission is not something that you can do, especially not on your own. Apart from my life inside of you you can't submit to Nan, or your children, or anyone else in your life, including Papa....I came to give you life, real life, my life. We will come and live our life insdide of you, so that you begin to see with our eyes, and hear with our ears, and touch with our hands, and think like we do. But, we will never force that union on you." p149
Lord, I do not want to live my life apart from you. I want you to live your life inside of me, I want real life, your life. I want to see with your eyes, hear with your ears, touch with your hands, feel with your heart, think like you think. I pray that you will enable me to fully allow you inside my heart so that I can experience all the fullness of You.
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